


The Nuclear Option

by MoonFire1



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Coming Out, Eddie Kaspbrak Lives, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Gay Richie Tozier, M/M, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier's Internalized Homophobia, Richie Tozier's Stand Up Act, Stanley Uris Lives, Timeline What Timeline, cancel culture is bullshit, no person is perfect, purity culture is also bullshit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:41:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24445234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonFire1/pseuds/MoonFire1
Summary: “Remember the nuclear option you didn’t want me putting in my contracts?” Richie smiled tightly, teeth flashing white.--Shakespeare said "To thine own self be true". No one ever said it would be easy, but the right things rarely are.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 6
Kudos: 160





	The Nuclear Option

_“What do you mean you’re quitting comedy?”_

Richie tapped the speaker option on his phone and set it down on the kitchen table next to his laptop so his hands wound be free. His fingers tapped on the keyboard rhythmically – whether writing nonsense for twitter or carving occasional gold out of his normal trashy ramblings was his manager’s guess.

“Can I tell you what I know happened today?” Richie interrupted Steve’s borderline panicked musings. “I went rummaging through Google as you do when confined to your domicile out of concern for a terrible public health crisis, and I saw some headlines.”

_“—Richie, whatever it was –”_

“—Not finished yet, Steve-O. Seeing my older works used to justify assault and rape really puts a damper on the dregs of enthusiasm I was retaining for the dreck that was providing both of us with our paychecks.” When he wanted – Richie could use his voice as smooth as a knife slicing through butter. Almost hypnotic, really. One of the many ways he had to annoy Eddie and the other Losers when they were kids.

He shook his head slightly. He wasn’t going to get distracted ruminating about his friends.

_“—what are you going to do?”_

“Remember the nuclear option you didn’t want me putting in my contracts?” Richie smiled tightly, teeth flashing white.

\---

The world did not spinning because Richie Tozier was engaged in a midlife crisis. Steve probably wouldn’t speak to him any time soon – losing a semi-guaranteed meal ticket probably left a bad taste in his mouth – yet Richie himself felt surprisingly freed.

Free of all of his fears? Oh heaven’s no! The clown made regular dancing appearances in his nightmares despite therapy, and the old tricks and taunts made Richie wake up in a cold sweat more often than not.

Free of his internalized self loathing? Well, that was a work in progress. Richie had been confronted by a grabby reporter from Buzzfeed seeking a quick comment to twist and

_A hand grabbed his shoulder. Richie spun defensively. “What the fuck, asshole?”_

_“Whoa, whoa, no need to be so jumpy—”_

_“You just filmed yourself grabbing me without notice. The hell do you want?”_

_“So what gives? How’s the Trashmouth gonna survive without the limelight –”_

After letting a few choice words ring in the jackass’s ear pertaining to his particular heritage

 _“ –Kids are getting murdered by the same type of assholes who tried killing me and my friends when we were kids – google Derry child murders if you need new nightmare fuel – women are being beaten to death by monsters wearing my merchandise – and you’re disappointed that the fucking scales fell off my eyes on what a piece of shit I am?”_ Richie wasn’t sure he liked his new way of laughing, but it wouldn’t leave any time soon. There was no joy – nothing carefree about it. 

\---

One Buzzfeed video did not a full personal redemption arc make, yet it was the start of – something.

Yes, something.

A text from a strange number was saved on his phone. **Proud of you. Idiot.**

He thumbed over the words often. He and Eddie had been in sporadic contact since Eddie had returned to New York. His friend had had his hands full of his own troubles (a brief attempt at marriage counseling, a separation, a divorce that could have been much easier had his ex-wife not embodied some of the worst traits of the man’s deceased mother), and Richie had given him space.

Despite of what others might have believed, when it came to his friends, Richie knew when not to cross certain lines.

The new number was captioned with a pasta emoji (something that would make Eddie breathe fire the next time they were in the same room. Richie couldn’t wait) and quickly was followed by the others sending their love. In Stan’s case, their well-deserved mockery.

Richie didn’t know how he had survived almost three decades without the best people in his life while he wallowed like a pig in his own internalized hatred. The least he and the others deserved was him approaching a place of authenticity.

\---

“It’s been a while,” Jimmy Fallon said after shaking Richie’s hand and gesturing him to the seat next to his desk on set.

Richie sat, drumming his fingers – a nervous habit that never quite left – briefly scanning the audience.

In the front row, as promised, sat six beloved, fiercely missed individuals, all of whom were smiling, nodding with encouragement and (in the case of one) almost smirking in a sly manner, clearly expecting malarkey.

_Challenge accepted, Spaghetti._

“---so you’ve been away from the circuit, you cut ties with your old manager, you led at least one Buzzfeed employee to reconsider every single one of his life decisions, which believe me, makes me think God might be active in this world after all –” the audience interrupted Jimmy’s greeting right on cue – “So, so tell me, what’s new in your life?”

Richie chuckled. “Oh, you know. Therapy, accepting you can’t go back in time and slap yourself, no matter how much you might’ve deserved it, writing for a couple of shows, not actually hating the content I’m putting out there. Coming out, telling my best friend I’m in love with him on national TV –”

Quick glance. Loud cheers from the audience. One man not cheering but sitting frozen before a wide smile crossed his face.

Another old fear unwound itself from his gut. Richie smiled back before refocusing on Fallon. “Little things like that. No biggie, right?”

Jimmy practically leaped across the top of his desk to pull him into a hug.

Not the hug Richie was looking forward to the most, but there was time. He had time.

\---

_So we’re just going to forgive all of Tozier’s bullshit he put out there before?_

**\--Purity tests are fucking MORONIC, people. The man is trying to change. I don’t think any of us can look back at shit we did in the past without cringing. He’s owning up to it, and doing good things. I’m a Trashhead for life and the rest of you can gargle my non-existent balls—**

_Whatever. I don't accept him in the gay community_

**No one said you had to bitch but you don't speak for everyone you twatwaffle**

“Quit reading the comments.” A kiss pressed against Richie’s temple.

“Can’t help it. They’re entertaining.”

Richie’s phone was tugged out his hands, turned off, and placed on the nightstand on Eddie’s side of their bed. The shorter man tugged Richie down against his chest.

Richie sighed. The him of just a year ago had wished for this very scenario while knowing in his heart of hearts it probably would never happen.

Once again, Richie Tozier had been wrong – and he owed all the happiness in his life to it.

He and Eddie would attend Pride this year. Richie planned on doing outreach to the Trevor Project and hopefully give the kind of help that would have amazed him to some teenagers like himself.

Of course there would still be the jerks whose comments he couldn’t keep himself from reading, the ones who remained convinced that everything he was doing was a sham, a front for him to exploit.

It was getting easier to shrug through those criticisms as time passed.

Richie leaned up, pressing a kiss against Eddie’s mouth.

Truthfully, the opinions of strangers meant zilch compared to the man he loved, as well as the one whose eyes he met in the mirror each day.

Richie smiled.

_Can’t wait to see what’s coming next._

//end//


End file.
